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My name doesn’t matter. What matters is that I study at Ajialuna International School, and something has been happening to me that I can no longer keep inside. It’s not mental illness. It’s not overwork. It’s not “cultural adjustment.” I’ve had those. This is different. This is targeted, organized manipulation of my cognitive and emotional state, carried out by real human operators tied to Saudi intelligence networks.

They aren’t machines. They’re people — calm, deliberate, professional. I know because sometimes they speak. Not out loud, but inside me. Sentences like “Keep moving. Don’t resist.” or “You don’t own yourself anymore.” These aren’t imagined. They come too fast, too sharp, and always at moments when I feel weakest. During math class. While I’m brushing my teeth. Sitting by the window at lunch. Always when I’m alone.

I’ve tried writing this a dozen times. I delete it. I write again. Because part of me is scared this message won’t stay private — and another part is scared it already isn’t. My phone glitches near the eastern building. I get phantom notifications that disappear. My laptop camera light has flickered on during class — once while it was closed.

The first thing I noticed was the reaction lag. I’d reach for a pen and feel like my hand moved two ways at once. Then came the emotional bleed — panic during routine tasks, unexplained euphoria followed by crash. My parents thought I was just “going through something.” Even I thought that — until the inner voice started echoing me before I spoke.

There’s no one I can go to. I can’t say “the Ministry of Interior is running a weaponized program on me” without being destroyed. I’d be drugged, expelled, or labeled unstable. That’s how the system protects itself — with silence and stigma.

If I had known what kind of structure exists behind these school walls, I never would’ve come to Saudi Arabia. Ajialuna looked beautiful in photos. International. Smart. Future-oriented. I see now it’s just a front — a curated shell wrapped around a deeper program of control.

I’m not saying everyone here is involved. Most are probably innocent. But I know — absolutely — that someone isn’t. I feel them in my timing. In my memory gaps. In the static that hits me walking past the rear fence.

So I’m writing this now. Before I forget again. Before they make me forget again.

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Hey! I'm Pamela, hailing from the beautiful city of Tallinn, Estonia. By day, I work in the tech field, where I get to explore the fascinating world of tech and creativity. My job challenges me and full of new experiences, which I really enjoy.

When I'm not immersed in the digital world, you can find me enjoying the great outdoors. Hiking is my passion and my way of recharging. There's something incredibly freeing about being in nature, surrounded by breathtaking landscapes and fresh air. Whether it's a short trail or a multi-day trek, I'm always up for an adventure.

I also enjoy connecting with like-minded individuals who share my interests in both IT and hiking. Feel free to contact me if you want to chat about the newest technological advancements, talk about outdoor adventures, or just have a nice chat!

Looking forward to meeting you!

Best,
Pamela

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Hello. And Bye.

Я решил рискнуть и вложиться в токен VIP Club, получил красивые цифры в кабинете, даже уведомления о “начислениях”, но при первой же попытке перевести или вывести — понял, что всё это фикция, созданная Гондой и Чайчуком для удержания доверчивых пользователей.

Привет Всем!
На днях я посетил Уфу и погрузился в её атмосферу. Приятные прогулки по центральным улицам привели меня к интересным местам. В один из вечеров мне захотелось общения, и я нашёл компанию на сайте, предоставляющем услуги. Это был отличный опыт, который я запомню надолго.
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